Change

Why it that change is so hard for me. Maybe I get it from my mother. Change is sometimes good sometimes bad but change always happens if we want it to happen or not! I have noticed that changes always happens when I don't want it to happen. For me when I have something that changes my life I have a dropping hit the floor crippling feeling at first. I wanna yell and maybe start praying for nothing to change. I have no idea why I react this way but I hate it. After I get used to the idea I'm alright and I can handle the new trial that has been thrown at me. I have learned that every time I'm comfortable in life i get hit the the face. EVERY TIME! I'm trying to change this freak out moment right after I find out so I'm writting, praying that I can handle it better. But even as I sit here I am praying for all to stay the same and for life to not make me have hard decisions. As a parent it seems like all decisions are hard from where they are going to school or some that should be as simple as what snacks your kids could eat during the day. Then there are always the though " is that the best change for them" or " am I being selfish and making the decision based on what's best for me or them". As a teenager you think that your making tough chooses....... Then you grow up. I know I'm complaining but I'm trying to figure life out. Thanks for listening